My Country

This is my country, my damn country

Gimme my country, you can keep the rest

This is my country, my damn country

And it don’t mean a thing if it don’t pass the test

If you ain’t never cheated or been cheated on

Then take off your boots, you rhinestone fraud

Gimme cheating, drinking, and outlaw songs

Hard times, foolish pride, done me wrong

Flirting with the devil, get right with the man

Amen, pain songs, one night stands

You can keep your picket fence fantasies

And put a cork in your high school memories

This is my country, my damn country

Gimme my country, you can keep the rest

This is my country, my damn country

And it don’t mean a thing if it don’t pass the test

If you ain’t never spent a single night in jail

Then get another job and I’ll see you in hell

I’m drawn like a moth to the neon lights

I need a bucket of beer and someone to fight

Don’t call yourself country if your music is shitty

Or this Carolina boy’ll take you down to Fist City

You know who you are, I ain’t gonna name names

Just keep your hands off my country and go back from where ya came

My country, my damn country

Gimme my country, you can keep the rest

This is my country, my damn country

And it don’t mean a thing if it don’t pass the test

If you ain’t never done something you regret

Well, then I’m proud of ya, now git

Get this pussified, polished, pop song piece of

Glorified nursery rhyme outta my face

Wintertime, springtime, summertime, autumn

Show me to the jukebox and Yoakam if you got ‘em

I want country like Johnny, country like Merle

Country like Loretta, that honky tonk girl

Country like Townes, country like Travis

I’m a country-fried junkie with a bad habit

Country like Kris, country like Gretchen

If you ain’t cooking country then get out of the kitchen

I want country like Hank one, two, and three

Dropping like peaches from the family tree

Country like women, whiskey, and wheels

Yeah I know if it’s country cuz I know how it feels

Country like Waylon, country like Willie

Country like lightning in a hillbilly

This is my country, my damn country

Gimme my country, you can keep the rest

This is my country, my damn country

And it don’t mean a thing if it don’t pass the test

If you can’t sing along to Tear in my Beer

Then don’t forget your coat and get the fuck out here