Merry Christmas, My Ass

Turn it off, Joe

I can’t stand it anymore

No more Nat King Cole

On another Christmas Eve alone

Pour me a double

Let the spirit flow

Here’s to forgetting

Down the chimney it goes

Fill ‘er up , Joe, put that old Saint Jack in my glass

Merry Christmas, my ass

Boy, her long red hair

Ooh those emerald eyes

Colors scheming to remind me

Of her Christmas surprise

One little box

Wrapped up with a bow

Her engagement ring

And a goodbye note

Picture me and a tree and love’s artifacts

Merry Christmas, my ass

I know it’s getting late, Joe

But whaddya say

You keep the joint open

Straight through New Year’s Day

I can’t take another silent night

With her Christmas ghost

Haunting the halls

Moaning, “I was yours…almost”

How long can one season last

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, Joe

Merry Christmas, my ass