The Juggler

They call me the juggler cuz I always have three lovers

Man, I burn through Trojan rubbers like no other

But when I’m not between the sheets I’m busy staying undercover

Ain’t as sweet as it seems being the juggler

Cuz Edith likes eating at East of Eden

Where Wendy works on Wednesday evenings

And Donna Lee does her laundry two doors down

So when I’m out to eat with Edith

I’m always worried Wendy’s watching

And equally that Donna Lee is gonna be around

What’s worse is Wendy lives by the Wally World

Where Donna Lee goes to the pharmacy

And Edith’s ex-old man is employed there

So I choose to keep a low profile

Sneak around like it’s going out of style

And try to keep these balls up in the air

They call me the juggler cuz I always have three lovers

Sometimes I wish I had me a twin brother

Because it takes a lot of steam making all that hubba hubba

Ain’t as sweet as it seems being the juggler

I had three more the month before

Tanya, Tina, and Isadora

But that all ended in a puddle of tears and blood

I had Tanya down for ten to noon

And Tina’d turn up around one or two

And Izzy’d use me all night like a stud

But one day Tanya showed up a little late

And Tina turned up a lotta early

So fists were flying till Izzy came that night

I’m pretty sure Isadora’s the one that threw me on the floor

While Tanya and Tina punched and kicked and swore

And long story short I lost the fight

They call me the juggler cuz I always have three lovers

They come and go but there’s always another

I guess I can’t be pleased by just one lady’s comfort

Ain’t as sweet as it seems being the juggler

Maybe someday I’ll quit this fooling round

And find someone to make me settle down

But I’d hate to be the one to make her suffer

Cuz one of them days we’d go to town

And one of my friends would flag us down

And say, “You know why everybody calls him the juggler?”

And I’d have to explain…

That they call me the juggler cuz I always have three lovers

Man, I burn through Trojan rubbers like no other

But when I’m not between the sheets I’m busy staying undercover

Ain’t as sweet as it seems being the juggler